problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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