Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
