What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
