Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
