Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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