is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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