so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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