Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Randomize
