I love having hate sex.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
