If i come over, it means nothing
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
And then my night got REAL pukey
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
