I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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