can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
