i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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