ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
