we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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