She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
