erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
