***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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