Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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