it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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