Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize