It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize