Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
