oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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