You smell like a Billy Joel song
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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