Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
