I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
