He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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