help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
