I think I am morally bankrupt
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize