you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
