Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize