whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
