I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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