this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am available for nakedness
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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