My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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