didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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