I bet he comes in French.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
