I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
