new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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