I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
