So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
