well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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