WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
