Plan B is the new Plan A
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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