SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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