I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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