nut hugger
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
