his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
