It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you had me at cake vodka
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
