it hurts more in the daytime
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
