well you can't waste a boner
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize