I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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