That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
