i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
