and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
