a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
