Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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