Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
should my penis look like a turkey
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
