Soap is not a condiment
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
