I wannas sexs uuuuu
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
did i walk over a car last night?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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