Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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