'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
