I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
