You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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