..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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