don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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