apparently the secret to your success is patron
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
