Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
