i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
