I heard we made out
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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