Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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