Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize