At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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