I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
