just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
